I love you gray!

Happy National Boyfriend Day!

(while writing this out I have hime all over me. She’s chewing on my charger you plugged in for me right before gym, she’s bouncing off my head. And going after my fingers while trying to type, she’s also licking my mascara, and chewing my earrings. i’ve put her down off the bed many times and jumping back up. She’s torturing me.)

Anyways, I just want to start off by saying thank you for being you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully put into words what having you in my life means to me. You came into my life during a time when I’ve been fighting so much within myself, and somehow just having you beside me has made things feel a little less heavy.

There are days when my depression takes so much out of me. Days where I feel exhausted within myself and with just life, where a part of me just wants to quit and give up on everything. Days i’m more quiet than usual even when you may not realize it, having you gives me another reason to keep going.

You remind me that there are still things in my life worth staying for, worth experiencing, and worth looking forward to. Sometimes it’s your voice, your presence, the way you make me laugh, or simply knowing I have you that gets me through a day I didn’t think I could handle even if you may not realize. What makes you so special to me is how genuine you are. Your love never feels forced or temporary. I can feel that you genuinely care about me, and that means more to me than anything else in this world; feeling understood is the biggest thing for someone like me, and you do it without trying and I am so appreciative.

I know loving someone who struggles with depression isn’t always easy. Sometimes I become distant, quiet, overwhelmed, or I don’t know how to explain what’s happening inside my head. But I hope you never mistake those moments for me loving you any less. If anything, you’re one of the people I hold closest to my heart when everything else feels like it’s falling apart.

You are genuinely everything I could ask for in someone. I don’t need you to fix me or take away everything I struggle with. Just having you beside me, loving me and choosing to be here, means more than you know. You’ve shown me a kind of love that feels genuine and safe, and I feel incredibly lucky that I get to experience that with you.

I want you to know that I see everything you do, even the little things you probably don’t think twice about. I appreciate your patience, your reassurance, your affection, and every moment you choose to spend with me.

I know life can get overwhelming sometimes, and I know there are moments when you doubt yourself or wonder if you’re enough. I just hope you always know that you never have to face those moments alone. I will always sit with you and have those long talks with on the balcony, I want to be the person you can come to when everything feels like too much, the person you can lean on without ever feeling like you’re a burden. I want you to feel safe with me, to know that you can be completely yourself around me the good days, the bad days. There is nothing you have to prove to me to deserve my love. You are enough for me exactly as you are.

I promise to keep learning how to love you in the ways you deserve and to never stop showing you how important you are to me. You’ve become such an important part of my life and such a beautiful part of the reason I still look forward to tomorrow.

I love you so much baby boy, Happy National Boyfriend DAY!!!